Reach-Around Regret

Welcome back to That’s a Free Bee — the podcast that, no matter what the FCC says, is somehow still on the air. This week, I’ve got everything from reptile rehab to sinkholes, government red tape, and the world’s most awkward supermarket encounter.

Goldie the Gecko: Splooting & Shining

If you tuned in last week, you’ll remember I was worried about our leopard gecko, Goldie. The good news? He wasn’t burned at all — just stuck mid-shed. After a little gentle intervention (and zero tail-dropping panic), he’s back to his shiny self, splooting happily in his vivarium and chasing food like a pro.

When the Pipes Burst

Meanwhile, my entire town decided to re-enact Waterworld. Newly installed pipes burst — all at once, for about three miles — flooding the streets, opening up a sinkhole, and leaving trucks to ferry in drinking water while Facebook experts debated whether roads “corrode” or “erode.” Schools closed, traffic went haywire, and yes, people still managed to complain about the drains.

Passport Purgatory

Then there’s the passport saga. Picture endless phone calls, identity theft panic, and a government worker who casually took her tea break while accidentally leaving me on the line. Against all odds, I eventually cancelled a passport I never had, proved my existence, and actually got the real document two days later. The stress nearly aged me five years, but at least I’m cleared for holiday travel now.

The Aldi Reach-Around

Finally, the shortest (and most humiliating) story: I reached past someone in Aldi to grab a bottle of apple Lucozade and blurted out the immortal words, “I’m the one that did the reach around.” Not my finest moment. Bright red face, horrified stranger, and yes — she was parked right next to me outside. Perfect.

The Punchline

To wrap it up: What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roman numeral.

🎧 Listen now to Episode 94 of That’s a Free Bee.

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